Why I trail run…
Recently, I ran my second trail race, a technical 10 miler with 1300 feet of elevation gain.
I used to run years ago—no make that decades—and I never really liked it much. Looking back, I probably did it to burn off the boxes of SnackWell’s devil’s food cookies that I consumed in frightening quantities. They were fat-free, after all. I pounded the streets and sidewalks, and was training for my first marathon, when my hips and legs gave out, just weeks before the big day. I limped through half the planned 26 miles and called it quits.
I was suffering from iliotibial band syndrome – a common running injury that causes pain at the sides of the hips and knees. Finally, I told myself this whole running thing wasn’t working for me and I hung up my trainers.
Yet now, almost exactly 22 years to the date, I’m at it again—after more than two decades of fearing that I couldn’t or shouldn’t.
So what’s changed? Well, I’ve personally switched to trail running, which is different. Instead of striding out on unforgiving pavement, I run on soft trails, often through woods. I walk up the hills. I see wildlife. I have a cute coach, who also happens to be my boyfriend.
But the real reason I started trail running isn’t about any of that, and it certainly isn’t about burning off the cookies.
I do it because it makes me feel confident and strong.
Before my ex-husband and I split up nearly seven years ago, I felt like I had the world by the tail. We were ex-pats living in Dubai, partying like rock stars and traveling the world. From the outside, my life looked charmed. Then, just as in a bad episode of Behind the Music, came the crash.
In the years following our painful divorce, I was scared and felt hopeless. I had no idea how I’d support myself, or make it on my own. I hadn’t worked at a real job in more than 10 years. I never could have imagined feeling so desperate or unsure. I didn’t recognize myself and often asked:
Who is this terrified middle-aged woman, what has she done with Lisa, and how can I get her back?
What’s this all got to do with trail running, you ask? Well, I was dragging my feet committing to this recent race. My boyfriend Rob kept asking if I was going to join him. My critter brain was doing its best to talk me out of it, to keep me safe in my comfort zone, raising legitimate objections like: The trails are going to be a muddy mess…why would I pay $80 to do a hike...we’ll have to get someone to look after Oscar (my nearly 15-year old poodle)…I have work to do…
And then Coach Rob played the emotional card. He pulled up a picture of me crossing the finish line of my first ever trail race, arms in the air, a huge smile on my face, and asked, “Don’t you want to feel like this again?”
You bet I do.
And I bet you do, too. So, let me ask you: What is it that makes you feel big and proud? What have you held off doing out of fear or lack of confidence? Maybe it’s dancing, learning an instrument, training for a sport, or making art. What empowers you to be the biggest version of you that you can be?
For me, that answer is trail running. At 53, it has given me a new zest for life that is different from anything I felt all those years ago.
Sure, I’m still scared at times, but I act anyway. I’m no longer paralyzed by fear. I take baby steps towards my goals. I feel more and more resilient and powerful each day.
I’m getting sh*t done and you can too!
Try this practice to feel empowered:
Pick something you loved to do as a child, or something you’ve always wanted to try, but were too scared.
Make a date with yourself to do it and put it on your calendar.
Ask for accountability or support from a friend, so you follow through.
After you finish, hold your arms in the air and do a little victory dance! Soak up your achievement!
If this is something you struggle with, reach out today. As a health and life coach I provide my clients with stretch, support and accountability to help them realize their dreams and goals.
Let me know how it goes—I’ll be your biggest cheerleader.
Coach Rob (50k finisher) and me (not last.)